Now, brace yourself…this post will totally be from a parental (mostly Mom’s) perspective. It is not a mindless rant, but more like a sad realization of necessity of give and take. As a mother of two (age 3 and 22 months…and no, I am not crazy!) Needless to say, I have one major full time job in addition to being a photographer. I have to constantly be creative when planning the maximum efficiency of just how to balance entertaining, refereeing, feeding, cleaning, educating and playing with the kids and staying on top of business. As a Mom, I feel torn and there is a nagging voice that I really need to leave the laptop alone and just focus on the kids and then the determined independent business woman in me says that I have to keep my nose to the grindstone and work as hard as I can to market, process images, learn more, promote, create and drive current and new business (not to mention keeping up with all the social networking…whew!). And I am not unique to this predicament; everyone else has something that they sacrifice in order to enhance something else in their life… career, hobbies, school, relationships and recreation…
So, is there an easy solution? The short answer…no: the long answer…well, yes eventually. From my core beliefs, I will always conduct my life in a series of permanent priorities:
1. GOD
2. FAMILY
3. WORK
If I am to succeed at my passion of photography (which for the most part is going really well, especially in a recession!) what would that success really mean if I abandoned my real priorities? If at the end of the day I have more business than I can handle and have no time to spend quality time with God or my family, then ultimately I have failed…(I know, sorry, I am a very deep thinker)…
When you become a parent there is a switch that goes off, it is hard to explain but from that moment on your life becomes about ensuring your little baby (and they are still babies no matter how old they get!) has the best opportunities in life and that you give them unlimited and unconditional love, encouragement and attention. It is no secret that for many Mom’s their needs, desires, thoughts, feelings, etc. become the lowest on the totem pole. So, as you can imagine when I even start to think that I am putting myself before my children, I start to feel selfish and disappointed. But at the same time I grew up in a house where my Mom ran her own business and that inspired me! I did not feel neglected, in fact it gave me so much confidence to pursue the goals I set for myself in life.
At the end of the day I have to just realize that I have placed all these deadlines and expectations on myself because I want to be the best photographer I can be, but ultimately I value being the best mother I can be much, much more. So, when my boys want me to just sit with them and read a story or watch their favorite show and even play G.I. Joes- I have given myself permission to take a “kid break”. I guess the type of worker I am makes me want results (now!) and move on to the next task. It is hard for me to justify anything that detours my progress. On those merits, I am a great employee but a terrible boss (just keep working, no breaks…don’t stop, work, work, work!)…Who in their right mind would argue with themselves about taking a couple minutes to do something at any corporate job? It’s a balancing act that is constant and there is no quick fix. I can not schedule appointments with my children and limit them to certain hours, but I can squeeze in some time when I am needed (and even when I am not) and take a little longer lunch, block out an afternoon (or a day!!!) to help Spiderman and Hulk stop the bad guys…After all, isn’t that the freedom of being your own boss and owning your own business? Yes! Balance…it’s a constant process (and that’s ok!)...So, do not stress (too much) over the details of your life that fight for your attention and time, in the end it is a give and take...and with a lot of practice (and prayer) you will find the "balance" that suits you best!
So, is there an easy solution? The short answer…no: the long answer…well, yes eventually. From my core beliefs, I will always conduct my life in a series of permanent priorities:
1. GOD
2. FAMILY
3. WORK
If I am to succeed at my passion of photography (which for the most part is going really well, especially in a recession!) what would that success really mean if I abandoned my real priorities? If at the end of the day I have more business than I can handle and have no time to spend quality time with God or my family, then ultimately I have failed…(I know, sorry, I am a very deep thinker)…
When you become a parent there is a switch that goes off, it is hard to explain but from that moment on your life becomes about ensuring your little baby (and they are still babies no matter how old they get!) has the best opportunities in life and that you give them unlimited and unconditional love, encouragement and attention. It is no secret that for many Mom’s their needs, desires, thoughts, feelings, etc. become the lowest on the totem pole. So, as you can imagine when I even start to think that I am putting myself before my children, I start to feel selfish and disappointed. But at the same time I grew up in a house where my Mom ran her own business and that inspired me! I did not feel neglected, in fact it gave me so much confidence to pursue the goals I set for myself in life.
At the end of the day I have to just realize that I have placed all these deadlines and expectations on myself because I want to be the best photographer I can be, but ultimately I value being the best mother I can be much, much more. So, when my boys want me to just sit with them and read a story or watch their favorite show and even play G.I. Joes- I have given myself permission to take a “kid break”. I guess the type of worker I am makes me want results (now!) and move on to the next task. It is hard for me to justify anything that detours my progress. On those merits, I am a great employee but a terrible boss (just keep working, no breaks…don’t stop, work, work, work!)…Who in their right mind would argue with themselves about taking a couple minutes to do something at any corporate job? It’s a balancing act that is constant and there is no quick fix. I can not schedule appointments with my children and limit them to certain hours, but I can squeeze in some time when I am needed (and even when I am not) and take a little longer lunch, block out an afternoon (or a day!!!) to help Spiderman and Hulk stop the bad guys…After all, isn’t that the freedom of being your own boss and owning your own business? Yes! Balance…it’s a constant process (and that’s ok!)...So, do not stress (too much) over the details of your life that fight for your attention and time, in the end it is a give and take...and with a lot of practice (and prayer) you will find the "balance" that suits you best!
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